I'm tired of trying to "look good"
i'm tired of trying to fit in,
tired of faking smiles
and asking where people have been,
tired out from all this apathy and worrying
about money and "succeeding"
letting people control me and be a dumping ground
for their own bullshit and expectations
I just want things on a scale bigger than myself, or you
to feel better and improve
I wasn't (un?) lucky enough to be blessed with ignorance or understanding
stuck in between with all the guilt and exhaustion and it's killing me
I once swallowed a cardinal
And it bled that sanguine hue
Burning through my sorrowed soul
Watching all your stars fall
I once betrayed a blackbird
And it dismantled me with song
My cowardice couldn't sing aloud
A sinful chain drags you along
I wanted it to shine but reflections do not rise
and I wanted you to see her but you have eyes of a landmine
I wanted it to free you but bindings do not raise
and I wanted you to see her but you have eyes of a foreign place
I once imprisoned a crow
And it pecked my ribcage raw
And it revealed a state of malcontent
I've disobeyed my own set of law
I once deceived a nightingale
And it s
Such raw emotion cannot be forgotten
Breaking through all these masks
Suppression has made weaker over time
Completely stuck here Just trying to transcend
These breaking dreams, but they are all I have
So cold when such wounds don't mend
Oh, oh oh, these flames won't burn out
Head like an overdose, a suffering doubt
Oh, oh oh, and these third degrees hurt
Set myself ablaze but what was it worth
Overpowering despondency is hard to defeat
When there are no breaks in this storm
Feel like I'll be fighting till north and south meet
And this disease has plagued me for years
A mind set on setting in, it seems it has
Too many thoughts
It's Better If You Bleed by WaitingOnRain, literature
Literature
It's Better If You Bleed
"it would be easy" he speaks to me
His eyes trained on mine, heart on the line
Blind to the mass of difficulties
To myself and him in turn, I can't lie
Nothing good comes of easy
If you don't have to fight for it
Is it worth it, really?
I haven't spoken, and the sky above is passing
At a rate I can't process, how long before
I have to dismiss this all, and it all comes crashing
No justification to withhold truth anymore
But its better if
you bleed now, because
I'd face your wrath
Than plead guilty
Nothing good comes of easy
If you don't have to fight for it
Is it worth it, really?
Nothing good comes of easy
And you can argu
My verbal release, It smothers when,
You say so much, but it's all the same
Though, I can't listen to what you're saying
So I guess we're on the same page
Never ever has my throat felt so dry
But yet my tongue aches to take
Action, say it all through, or say goodbye
But I sit here, my hands cut off and tied
I cannot dispose of
All my soul is plagued with
I cannot close off
All I am afflicted with
This isn't right, and no pencil could write down
These emotions that seize me at nights
And days, months and years, tears without a drain
My entire mentality enraptured by a hurricane
Pray for all the things I've denied
These days, I
It's such a tragedy that this feeling of
Inadequacy didn't go away with you,
And it's such a shame, that all this things I blame
Myself for, didn't stop piling up, when they all filed out
But it's not your fault that you've lost your light
such a loss, you gave up the fight
that you would give it all away
Just give it all away,
it's just more hours spent suspending in a state of mind
where you're not asleep but you're not here
it's just another moment where you spend your time
wasting it away, and your eyes they don't
reflect your soul, they reveal nothing at all
inside there is a huge division of what's inside
because on
Such a feeling of grief, it is
To perceive that all within
Your proximity, never felt yours
Oh where have I been?
An overwhelming sense, it is
To realize one's solitude
After assuring others of their presence
Oh when was I removed?
For you, I did all I could do
How foolish of me,
To think that you, and you, too
Wouldn't ostracize me,
Such an experience, it is
To have all confessions dispelled
At aural birth, by those quick to confide
Oh are only your agonies felt?
A surreal circumstance, it is
To be outside of a circle
You crafted, ousted by narcissism
Oh why don't you heed?
For you, I helped find the truth
How irratio
I feel there's a silence building
And I don't want to be submerged
There's nothing I can try to say to you now
To make your disparity burn out
I can't help you if you don't say it
I will just have to guess and I'm not too good
At pretending I know about things
That I don't understand at all
We are stuck in all but conversation
Subjugated by immense quiet
Choking on words we cannot begin to fathom
Here we are, now just screaming in silence
I could tell you that it all gets better
But I have been there before
And all the changes that you need to happen
Are left up to you
And all your devices of self deprecation
You can't imp